I am very surprised and humbled by the amount of texts, calls and comments asking why I stopped writing in my blog this Oscar season. The fact that people have even noticed at all that I haven’t been blogging, proves that people actually give a shit about my writing and that is a really cool thing to find out. After realizing that, I have decided that you all deserve to know where I went and why I did not write at all. I posted on social media a couple of months ago about the loss of my hair and how it was due to my mental health. Almost two years ago an event happened in my life that I do not feel comfortable sharing with you all yet. A benefit of this event is that it led me to finally getting help that I have so desperately needed, and I started going to therapy. Through therapy, I received a diagnosis and learned that I am chronically depressed. I feel very blessed to live in a time where mental health is talked about more and is starting to become destigmatized. I am not some crazy person, even though I like to make jokes that I am, and I am not seconds away from jumping off of a bridge. The truth is that I am still the same person I have always been before I was diagnosed.
One thing that comes with depression is the loss of pleasure in things that previously brought me joy. This season it has felt like a chore to sit at my desk and write. This is not something normal for me. I am one of those weird people that actually enjoyed writing essays for school and found out during a psychology class that I find scholarly journals exciting. Last year, I was posting three blog posts a week, but I just could not find any drive to write this year. I could almost feel a physical pull anytime I got up to write and found every excuse in the book to avoid it. It is unfortunate, but it is the reality of what I am facing everyday. I am sorry to anyone who was looking forward to reading my posts and my opinions of the films.
A few comments before tonight:
-I watched most of the films nominated and I just have to mention the absolute anger I felt when Taika Waititi was not nominated for best director. I could not give a shit who wins that category because it will only go to director who was most likely nominated because of his status in Hollywood.
-Jojo Rabbit was a work of art. Phenomenal. I know I am biased because I love Waititi and think he is a genius, but this film showed humanness in such an entertaining, hilarious, heartbreaking and beautiful way.
-Little Women was a phenomenal retelling of Alcott’s novel. Greta Gurwig’s use of the novel to tell a beautiful feminists story was very well done.
-I am very happy for Adam Driver. Those that know me, know how madly in love with him I am. I am glad that everyone else is able to see the raw talent I see in him.
-I am stuck between Jojo Rabbit and 1917 for best picture. I thought both films were innovative, shot beautifully and had an amazing story. I am pulled toward 1917 a bit more due to the style of film.
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